I realize no matter how much i convince myself that i am a person that can forget easily but it doesn't seem so. I am not that big-hearted and optimistic after all.

Everybody have their own secrets, so am I. Sometimes I don't say it, but I thought as family, you can sense it better than any other people. There are lots of things I kept to myself, just that you don't know at all and you will never know. Sometimes you feel that I am wilful and throw temper which most of the time, unlike some others, I throw temper but locking myself in the room or I would just tell you that I want to go for a walk without bringing my cellphone along. You will think that I am throwing temper because I rarely say I want to go out for a walk alone. BUT sometimes, I just feel so constrained and stressed that I feel like having a breathing space and wants to be alone to reflect and calm down (thats my reason for not bringing cellphone).

Once xingxian did see through me (and she was the first one), not really see through but she uses face and palm reading and told me i hold a lot of grudges towards you guys. I hope that is not true and I keep convince myself that you guys are good to me, really great to me so I shouldn't hold any grudges but at some moments she really do prove it right.

I don't cry in front of you guys like when I was young but it doesn't means you guys doesn't hurt my self-esteem by rubbing salt into my wounds. I may look like I don't care at all but I address issues more deeply and think more than what you guys have thought about me.

I just want to say even as family or even friends, there are things that are really sensitive and they are secrets that I wish to keep to myself. Sometimes, observation is really very important and being sensitive as well. If you can sense my sudden quietness and walk away, means that I wish I can don't listen already because you are hurting me already!